Mercutio: Romeo, mah Bromeo, I love you man, but no homeo.
you might as well wear a condom on your head if you’re gonna act like a dick
When your crush uploads a selfie
I wonder what I’ll have for breakfast tomorrow?
Maybe a hot, fresh bowl of not at Comic Con
do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown
showing your friend something you know they would flip out over and they say “I’ve already seen it”
i was supposed to be the hero
tbh i just need a hug
if you are attracted to me you are required by law to tell me.
What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick